Languidly Cynical

I’m not a romantic but I’m not one of those cynics either who discredit the phenomenon of love completely. I am one of those cynics who believe in the existence of romantic love but know that its existence is almost Utopian, that very lucky few will experience it in its true sense. I’m the one who, when they hear their friends say “I’m in love…”, can’t help thinking- ‘Love’? Yeah okay. Let’s see how long that idea lasts.

But admittedly, I don’t hate love songs. They make me believe in a make-believe world of perfect people where love in its purest form exists. In that world, a sincere man wearing a hat says “It cannot wait… It is our fate, I’m yours”; a lonely guy promises to wait to two more years for his girl and promises to pay the bills with his guitar; a goofy teenager loves his girlfriend’s flaws because it’s her it all adds up to and the bottom line is he’s in love with her; and a man asks a woman to let him love her until she learns to love herself. Nobody in that world calls a woman (no matter how endearingly) “shorty” or “bitch” or refers to her ‘ass’ or use any crude/ filthy innuendos. These things may or may not happen in the real world, but that doesn’t mean that I will hate listening about something as wonderfully happy. For the same reason I also believe in- Santa Claus, inheriting money from a rich unheard-of relative, my favourite pair of shoes never wearing out, the non-existence of politics, me being a dog-whisperer, dogs going to heaven, being fit without working out because climbing stairs to the office once-a-day is exercise enough, and accidentally running into Bradley Cooper and us getting along fabulously. I could go on but I won’t digress.

So, if a toddler listens to these love songs and sets high standards dreaming about the perfect partner who plays the piano and says “You’re amazing just the way you are”, I say, let them. The real world needs them to stop making bad life decisions that affect them permanently at an age when they don’t even know how to spell ‘prophylactic’.

And if you truly believe in perfect romantic love and soul mates, I envy your rose-tinted glasses.

And if you have lived it, well… good for you. Now go back to living in the Diana Ross-Lionel Ritchie song, you don’t belong here.

dont-follow-me

Dear S

 One of my closest friends ever, let’s call her S, broke up with her boyfriend earlier this week. I have watched enough rom-coms and been the agony aunt enough times, to know how absolutely terrible break-ups can be. So I might not be able to empathize completely with all you broken-hearted, but I know what a broken heart is.

I admit I’m not the best person when it comes to comforting people. I’m like Dr. Sheldon Cooper (from The Big Bang Theory), “There there” is all I ever have. But I love S very much and it’s sad to hear her cry and to not be able to give her a hug because she lives on another continent. So, this one’s for her.

Dear S,

I’m sorry to hear about your relationship reaching such an ugly end. I remember all the times you called me to tell me about the “great guy” you met and how he’s changed your world. I remember you telling me that you were the happiest when you were with him and how special he makes you feel. I also remember the time when you told me that you were in love with him and we crooned over it. The last few calls though, have been different. I hate to hear you cry. I hate that I’m not there with you to support your decision of letting go of somebody who once meant so much to you. But you did the right thing. You were awesome in your strength to leave him. I hate him for stealing your smile from you. But I’m hopeful that your smile will return soon. Your face looks incomplete without it.

Compromising on the little things in a relationship is one thing, the vanishing of the trust that held you two together through the thick and thin, is another. A partner should be a rock for you to lean on in times of trouble, and not be the trouble. He should preserve you from harm, not make you feel unsafe. He should be bold enough to take a stand, stand by you, and not ridicule your insecurities. He should make you laugh, not leave you to cry alone; tell you that you’re worthy of all love and happiness, not make you feel worthless.

 I believe everything happens for a reason. You may not see this now, but I know that this relationship has made you more assertive. It has given you the courage to stand up to all the people who take you for granted. You have learnt to not give-in. You have learnt to push back when you’re being wronged. So, don’t think that you have wasted your life, because you haven’t. You were brave when you were in this relationship. You fought for your future and your happiness. And that kind of bravery is bigger than this person. So, keep fighting that fight, never stop.

And I know that one day you’ll be brave enough to fall in love again, just like the last time [= . In the meantime, you have me rooting for you.

Love, hugs and sloppy kisses
Me

P.s. Here’s a smile to get you started-

Cute