By The Sea

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Our lives are full of commotion and chaos. We walk among the weak and tired. We feel the frustration as the winds of uncertainty constantly blow in and out of our lives. We hold on to the hope and the gratification we get in the little joys of life. We live, not survive, everyday.

I pride myself on being armed to deal with it all, all on my own. I like to stop for a while, in the silence of the night and be still. We have so much to think about, so much to deal with. We hoard so many emotions, so many questions in our heads, we need a time-out. I tend to sit by the sea and stare at the waters- sometimes turbulent, sometimes calm. That’s when I drown out the noise of the mundane world that exists behind me. In that moment, I have nothing to do with that world brimming with injustice and dirt; in that moment, I exist alone with the vast waters in front of me. The moon, the stars and all that exists beyond, is mine. The sound of the waves and the winds that carry them, is the melody that helps me unwind.

In that instance, that quiet time, I converse with the One above. How did I fare today? Did I do Him proud? Did I matter today? Did I stand out by being honest and fair? I unburden all that I hold against the world and learn to be a better person tomorrow. I reaffirm my faith in the good and promise to keep the hope, never to let it go.

These nights are the best part of my day. While others engage with one another at the sea-front, I form a bubble around me, even if for a little while. Till I turn around and face the world again.

Moving Forward With Hope and Faith

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It is always in the nature of life to throw the unexpected at us, whether good or bad, it doesn’t care. They say that those things are to make us stronger, teach us lessons, and help us grow. And even though we face the occasional good and the frequent bad, we must keep moving forward, ever forward. It is tough, I can say that, because the good makes us comfortable and secure in where we are. And the bad makes us want to run away on a different tangent, or quit. Moving forward is not easy.

When we make new decisions and advance towards making them happen, we take a risk, we’re apprehensive; we have cold feet, even as we move. But a few steps in that direction expel our fears and validate our beliefs in our decision. We’re pumped up. As our inhibitions lower, our confidence rises, we’re ready to counter anything that obstructs our way.

As we start getting used to the path, we start facing the real challenges. We’re half-way through, we must keep pushing forward, we tell ourselves, it was never going to be easy. In the end, it’ll be worth it, we are sure. And with that self-assurance we overcome those mountains. But the mountains don’t cease to sprout. Sometimes we grow weary and want to leave while we’re ahead, but a tiny voice inside our head always wants us to keep it together and follow the road to the end, giving us hope.

But as we walk the hills and valleys of what used to be a straight (even if) narrow path, doubts start pouring in. Was I meant to tread here? Or did I just wander in? Am I completely off the way I was supposed to go? What if these obstacles aren’t a test of my dedication, but are a sign that I have stumbled on to the wrong path? How far must I go, before I know?

Most times we don’t have the answers to any of our real questions. What we can have is hope– that we’re walking the line; and faith in being led, through whatever paths, to where we are meant to be.     

Is Absolute Happiness Real?

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I have met a few people who claim to have lived a very protected and loving childhood, and who now lead very uncomplicated lives. But they always say that there is atleast one aspect of their lives that complicates their sorted world. They all always have one thing that makes life less than perfect for them. I admit to being envious of these friends in the past, for having just ‘one or two things that aren’t working out, you know’ against my ‘the silver lining is, I’m still alive you know’. But they made me realize that perfect state of happiness is utopian. There’s nobody who’s truly happy in every way in this world. We strive to be, we seek it, we live life in pursuit of it, we sing songs about it and sometimes we even fool ourselves into thinking that we are there, but it’s like a Will-o’-the-Wisp – we follow it, come close to grabbing it and then it disappears, but then we see another and that’s how we get through life. Some believe it leads you to your destiny while others consider it a misleading hope.

When we are perfectly happy, we’re satisfied and content. We don’t need to strive for anything, we don’t want. We risk being stagnant. I guess that’s why we need to have a little chaos brought into our lives from time to time, by uncontrollable forces so that we are driven by the hope of attaining it. Everything works on incentives that push us to work towards something. Attaining that wholesome happiness is what our incentive is. Maybe we’re not meant to attain it in this life, maybe it’s unreal, but if it makes us overcome our troubles and problems, be good and do what’s right, it’s the best reason to live.

When I was a little girl, I didn’t believe in Santa Claus (yes, I’ve been a cynic all my life). I found it unbelievable, the whole story. But it was a good story so I went along with it, year after year, never telling my family that I knew the truth (also, because I loved waking up to gifts under my pillow- which is where Santa leaves gifts in our family). So, even now in my 20s, I wake up with the hope of finding gifts under my pillow on Christmas morning. And I find them every Christmas morning, because my parents know how much I love it. And we all pretend they’re from Santa Claus. That’s how I feel about happiness. This perfect happiness is my Santa Claus. I know its make-believe but I still work towards being nice all year anticipating a present, a reward. And the rewards are pretty sweet.

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