Once upon a time there was a girl whose standards were tall and expectations high when it came to love. As unrealistic as they were, she knew that very few people fall in love for real and that maybe not everybody finds it, secretly hoping she does.
Fast forward 20 or so years and here I am, newly married, happy and writing about it already.
Unlike most girls, I had never dreamed about getting married. So when we decided to do it, I didn’t know what I wanted our wedding to be like. I started planning my wedding from scratch and spent nine months completely engrossed in nothing but that. Time flew quickly and the day arrived suddenly.
It’s been a couple of months since then and now I have time to look back and reminisce. Here are the three things I learnt from that, and maybe it might help you too:
1. Don’t Sweat the small stuff
I had picked a colour theme for my wedding- Marsala, Off-white and Gold. I also knew that I would prefer a vintage to a modern décor theme. Those were two of the biggest and easiest decisions I made about the wedding. I am an attention-to-detail kind of person, so I had very specific ideas about the ‘look and feel’ of my wedding, every little thing. Although, when the day came, it turned out that not everything was the way I wanted it to be. And you know what? It didn’t matter. Not to us (we were the happy to be married, and also tired) and not to the guests. Everyone did tell us how beautiful the wedding was though, even the ones who didn’t attend but saw the pictures. So, if you cant find the right shade of napkins or if the tablecloth isn’t the exact same shade as the flowers on the wedding arch, don’t sweat it because…
2. …things will go wrong
You’ve heard the expression/law that “anything that can go wrong will go wrong”? At a wedding there are a hundred things that can go wrong, so there’s a high chance of atleast some things going wrong. The sooner you make peace with it and remember the first point, the better. At my wedding, none of the drapes/cloths matched the colour of the flowers- they were wine instead of marsala; I tore a little lace of my wedding gown during the photo-shoot; we couldn’t do the first dance; I didn’t walk down the aisle to the song I had picked; my polaroid camera that we were using for the guestbook got stolen… I can go on. With all that happening I had to remind myself that I couldn’t let these things ruin my mood or my wedding. What’s important is to remind yourself (or ask your Maid of Honour to remind you) that your wedding day is about you and your husband and celebrating your marriage! Don’t let it be about anything else but that, don’t let a couple of trivialities steal the thunder that belongs to you.
3. It’s okay to let it out
But in case things do get to you over the course of your planning months, which at some point they will, it’s perfectly normal to vent it out. You’ll feel better afterwards, take it from me.
I am a pretty composed and patient person but, I don’t do well under pressure. I could feel the stress of our do-it-ourself wedding, especially during the last few days leading up to the wedding. On the day of, I was starting to freak out about things happening on time and happening right, till I couldn’t keep it all in and one tiny little thing made me lash out. Oh, was it bad! I was shouting at my family and all the emotions I was feeling, from frustration to anger, came out one by one. It wasn’t a pretty sight. When the storm subsided, I realized I needed that, I needed to let go of all the pent up negative emotions I was harbouring. My family understood it too eventually. And things became okay after my then-boyfriend-now-husband came to calm me down (he’s the only one who can). The rest of my wedding was then drama-free, at least on my end.
A friend of mine told me that she had a similar situation the night before her big day.
Maybe you’ll have an episode before the wedding, maybe you wont- either way IT’S OKAY TO LET IT OUT.
Here’s to you getting married! May your nerves be balmy and your tulle fluffy.