Dear S

 One of my closest friends ever, let’s call her S, broke up with her boyfriend earlier this week. I have watched enough rom-coms and been the agony aunt enough times, to know how absolutely terrible break-ups can be. So I might not be able to empathize completely with all you broken-hearted, but I know what a broken heart is.

I admit I’m not the best person when it comes to comforting people. I’m like Dr. Sheldon Cooper (from The Big Bang Theory), “There there” is all I ever have. But I love S very much and it’s sad to hear her cry and to not be able to give her a hug because she lives on another continent. So, this one’s for her.

Dear S,

I’m sorry to hear about your relationship reaching such an ugly end. I remember all the times you called me to tell me about the “great guy” you met and how he’s changed your world. I remember you telling me that you were the happiest when you were with him and how special he makes you feel. I also remember the time when you told me that you were in love with him and we crooned over it. The last few calls though, have been different. I hate to hear you cry. I hate that I’m not there with you to support your decision of letting go of somebody who once meant so much to you. But you did the right thing. You were awesome in your strength to leave him. I hate him for stealing your smile from you. But I’m hopeful that your smile will return soon. Your face looks incomplete without it.

Compromising on the little things in a relationship is one thing, the vanishing of the trust that held you two together through the thick and thin, is another. A partner should be a rock for you to lean on in times of trouble, and not be the trouble. He should preserve you from harm, not make you feel unsafe. He should be bold enough to take a stand, stand by you, and not ridicule your insecurities. He should make you laugh, not leave you to cry alone; tell you that you’re worthy of all love and happiness, not make you feel worthless.

 I believe everything happens for a reason. You may not see this now, but I know that this relationship has made you more assertive. It has given you the courage to stand up to all the people who take you for granted. You have learnt to not give-in. You have learnt to push back when you’re being wronged. So, don’t think that you have wasted your life, because you haven’t. You were brave when you were in this relationship. You fought for your future and your happiness. And that kind of bravery is bigger than this person. So, keep fighting that fight, never stop.

And I know that one day you’ll be brave enough to fall in love again, just like the last time [= . In the meantime, you have me rooting for you.

Love, hugs and sloppy kisses

P.s. Here’s a smile to get you started-





Are You Angry?


We walk through our lives trying to be the prefect, refined versions of ourselves. We live our lives trying to emulate the best qualities of the people we are inspired by. We are taught right from the beginning that apathy, selfishness, disrespect, unkindness and hatred, among other things are not the traits of a virtuous person. Most of our conscious life, we discipline ourselves into being an honourable person. We all strive to be good.
But I have seen (and experienced) this one thing that, without a moment’s notice, vaporizes all the goodness in us and brings out our worst. Anger. I hate anger maybe even more than I hate lying. Anger in any and every form is hurtful. I live in close proximity of a very hot-headed person. That person and their anger is the sole reason I’ve learnt to keep my temper in check, to the point of now coming across as passive. This person’s anger has become so palpable over the years that I now dread staying in the same room as them when I sense their foul mood. This temper has caused a lot of pain. And this pain has scarred not just me but others too, emotionally and (unfortunately) permanently. There was a time when I think I cared about this person. But, that was many disrupted years ago.
Everybody gets angry. But acting on it, letting it guide your tongue and holding on to it, is what makes it bring out our lowest, ugliest and most uncivilized, self- introducing us to a person inside we didn’t even know existed. We’ve all either been there or seen that. Some of us even know how horrible it is to live with the trepidation of encountering it, every day. So, here’s my message to all the angry people- you’ll lose the love, trust and respect, of the people you care about, if you don’t consciously make an effort to keep your anger under control. It’s one of those habits that only get worse with time and age. Don’t let the day come when you have to wake up to the realization that you’ve driven everybody away and you’re all alone.