3 Things to Remember When Planning Your Wedding

Once upon a time there was a girl whose standards were tall and expectations high when it came to love. As unrealistic as they were, she knew that very few people fall in love for real and that maybe not everybody finds it, secretly hoping she does.

Fast forward 20 or so years and here I am, newly married, happy and writing about it already.

Unlike most girls, I had never dreamed about getting married. So when we decided to do it, I didn’t know what I wanted our wedding to be like. I started planning my wedding from scratch and spent nine months completely engrossed in nothing but that. Time flew quickly and the day arrived suddenly.

3E1A1995-Edit

It’s been a couple of months since then and now I have time to look back and reminisce. Here are the three things I learnt from that, and maybe it might help you too:

1. Don’t Sweat the small stuff

weddingplanning

I had picked a colour theme for my wedding- Marsala, Off-white and Gold. I also knew that I would prefer a vintage to a modern décor theme. Those were two of the biggest and easiest decisions I made about the wedding. I am an attention-to-detail kind of person, so I had very specific ideas about the ‘look and feel’ of my wedding, every little thing. Although, when the day came, it turned out that not everything was the way I wanted it to be. And you know what? It didn’t matter. Not to us (we were the happy to be married, and also tired) and not to the guests. Everyone did tell us how beautiful the wedding was though, even the ones who didn’t attend but saw the pictures. So, if you cant find the right shade of napkins or if the tablecloth isn’t the exact same shade as the flowers on the wedding arch, don’t sweat it because…

2. …things will go wrong

dont-panic

You’ve heard the expression/law that “anything that can go wrong will go wrong”? At a wedding there are a hundred things that can go wrong, so there’s a high chance of atleast some things going wrong. The sooner you make peace with it and remember the first point, the better. At my wedding, none of the drapes/cloths matched the colour of the flowers- they were wine instead of marsala; I tore a little lace of my wedding gown during the photo-shoot; we couldn’t do the first dance; I didn’t walk down the aisle to the song I had picked; my polaroid camera that we were using for the guestbook got stolen… I can go on. With all that happening I had to remind myself that I couldn’t let these things ruin my mood or my wedding. What’s important is to remind yourself (or ask your Maid of Honour to remind you) that your wedding day is about you and your husband and celebrating your marriage! Don’t let it be about anything else but that, don’t let a couple of trivialities steal the thunder that belongs to you.

3. It’s okay to let it out

bridezilla-wedding-stress

But in case things do get to you over the course of your planning months, which at some point they will, it’s perfectly normal to vent it out. You’ll feel better afterwards, take it from me.

I am a pretty composed and patient person but, I don’t do well under pressure. I could feel the stress of our do-it-ourself wedding, especially during the last few days leading up to the wedding. On the day of, I was starting to freak out about things happening on time and happening right, till I couldn’t keep it all in and one tiny little thing made me lash out. Oh, was it bad! I was shouting at my family and all the emotions I was feeling, from frustration to anger, came out one by one. It wasn’t a pretty sight. When the storm subsided, I realized I needed that, I needed to let go of all the pent up negative emotions I was harbouring. My family understood it too eventually. And things became okay after my then-boyfriend-now-husband came to calm me down (he’s the only one who can). The rest of my wedding was then drama-free, at least on my end.

A friend of mine told me that she had a similar situation the night before her big day.

Maybe you’ll have an episode before the wedding, maybe you wont- either way IT’S OKAY TO LET IT OUT.

Here’s to you getting married! May your nerves be balmy and your tulle fluffy.

giphy-3-1

Advertisements

Reflection on Life

spirituality

There are some things that have the power to alter your thinking about the important things in life. There are things that overwhelm you and create a change in you, that stay with you for the rest of your life. Those things may be rare. Most thoughts are fleeting and easily forgotten, but the ones that stay, they’re the ones that are caused by the revelation of truth within you. The moment you encounter them (yes, they’re not born within you but exist without) they grab your heart, and you know you will never allow them to let go.

These are sometimes an emotionally overwhelming experience that touches your soul, or harsh reality-checks that shake your foundations. These could be anything, from a miraculous near-death experience to dealing with the loss of a loved one, and everything in between. These insights sustain our being.

Of late, I’ve been learning lessons and gaining knowledge that brought me face to face with some truths that made me weak in the knees- the kind that leave you awestruck. Some thoughts have also come across that make me ask questions that nobody has answers to. They remind me that we’re merely human, the realm of our understanding is limited. This has also led me to the realization of there being a world that we live as our spiritual selves, and also how easy it is for us to neglect that universe. It is easy to get entangled with our tangible lives of career, weekends, chores, and tv. We have buried the sense of our beings under seven feet of perpetual worthlessness. All we need to do is dig our way through it and discover the beautiful mystery that awaits us. A life that we live every day, without even realizing its existence. A life that we continually extinguish through our jaded human understanding. We are made for a greater living.

That need for living a fulfilling life comes when we reach the realization that something greater is at work. And if we really search, we find the essence of our existence.              

Wonder

How would we have been
If life had been sweeter than
The morning cup of coffee
We take to wake up to reality?

How would life have been
If the first time we tried to fly
Didn’t end the first of our countless dreams
Ripping it off its every seam?

How would truth have been
If its every sacred extension
Had not only the power to set us free
But also to heal?

How would love have been
If giving it unconditionally
Didn’t burn you up inside
Scarring you for life?

How would the world have been
If truth, life, love and we
Existed to complete each other
Before it was time to say Goodbye, and wither?